Are You More Connected To Your Phone Than To Your Partner?

 A couple who has been together for almost two years breaks up. They both have heavy workloads and spend a significant amount of time answering phones and being fully available to their jobs. We see it all the time: couples who are always on their phones. It seems like they must be available all the time – right? But availability comes in all sizes. They might have to put their phone down when they are in a meeting or when they are with clients. That’s certainly understandable and to be expected. But what happens when that very device that helps to keep you in touch is the thing that is now keeping you apart? That iPhone, Blackberry, iPad, or Droid may be diverting all of your or your partner's attention away from the time you spend together, raising the dilemma we all face: Are you paying more attention to your phone than to the people around you?

Usually the reason is your job – the boss might be calling or you don’t want to miss out on a deal that is in the works. And once that is explained, they are supposed to understand. But even work has to have limits. If it is spilling over to the dinner table or, even worse, the bedroom, then the answer is you are probably more connected to your phone than to your partner. Over time, that can compromise your relationship because it can leave your significant other feeling unimportant and left out.

It is okay to be accessible to your job, but not if it makes you unavailable to your partner. When that is happening, put some guidelines in place. For example, you can decide that there should be no phone while watching a movie, or maybe deciding to put the phone away completely after dinner might help. At the very least, turn it off during mealtimes and bedtime. Try to preserve your togetherness by editing out the phone. Make its presence the exception and not the norm.