How Soon Is Too Soon?

When is the best time to meet the family of your new flame? Is it ever advisable to attend a large family function so early in a relationship? This is a common question in the wake of a new relationship. Is a more personal setting, such as dinner, better, or is it too much pressure?

            Sometimes the timing can’t be helped. You have been dating for a few weeks and his sister just happens to be getting married next week. Or it is his older brother’s birthday bash and everyone will be there. On the one hand, it can feel flattering that your new partner seems to be so into you that they want to bring you to a big family party and meet the important people in their lives. On the other hand, you might be walking right into a judgment fest in which, if you haven’t established your own strong connection yet, your newly significant other might be too easily swayed away from you should their family suggest you aren’t the right match. Instead of gaining favor, you run the risk of getting the seal of disapproval.

            Think of it as building a good fire. Sometimes the top takes off right away, burning high. But if there isn’t a hot smoldering base, that fast fire can quickly fizzle out. Take the time to establish a foundation before opening yourself up to any possible criticism. If you are asked to that wedding or birthday celebration early on, you can politely decline, adding that you would love to go to the next occasion. That will give you a chance to build a solid relationship so when you do meet the family you are already an item, and your new partner can better withstand any negative comments that might come your way.